Why People Hate It When You Like Yourself
There’s something unsettling about watching someone glow when you’re stuck in the dark. That’s why I believe people hate it when you like yourself. In a world full of self-doubt, insecurity, and silent suffering, someone showing up confident and sure of who they are feels like a threat to those who are still at war with themselves.
Misery loves company, and not just for companionship. It wants to pull others down into the same pit. If someone hates themselves, they expect you to hate yourself too. If they’re unhappy, you should be too. Struggling? Then you shouldn’t have peace either. That’s the twisted logic some people operate from, and instead of dealing with their own pain, they project it onto you.
But this goes deeper than just jealousy. It’s not just about wanting what you have, it’s about believing you don’t deserve to have it at all.
Some people can’t stand to see others rise, especially if they come from a background or identity society has labeled as “less than.” Whether it’s race, gender, class, or how you grew up, these biases live in people. They look at you and think, How dare you like yourself? How dare you believe you're worthy? Who gave you permission to succeed, to shine, to live out loud? And the truth is, you did. You gave yourself permission. And that’s what disturbs them most.
When a person becomes confident, truly confident, they begin to spot envy and insecurity from miles away. They learn to avoid it. They learn that surrounding themselves with people who are secretly competing or hating on them only drags them backward. But here’s where it gets even darker: when you escape that toxicity, those same people come chasing after you.
Suddenly, they want to be your friend. They want “a conversation.” They want access. They want you to look past the red flags and give them a second chance. But you can feel it, something is off. It’s not admiration. It’s obsession. They become calculated, manipulative, even creepy. And it’s not about love. It’s about power. They don’t even like you, in fact, they resent you. But your rejection hurts their ego, and now it’s a mission to break down the very self-love they once mocked.
Both men and women can show up this way. You don’t owe them access to your peace, your joy, or your spirit. You don’t owe them a second chance just because they realized you’re not as weak as they assumed. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
The truth is, people who truly like themselves don’t try to destroy others. Confidence isn’t loud or cruel. It doesn’t envy or obsess. It simply is, grounded, unshaken, and secure.
So, like yourself. Loudly. Quietly. Publicly. Privately. Whatever you choose, just make sure it’s real. And let whoever’s triggered deal with their wounds, because you’ve already done the work to heal yours.
