Opportunists: The Hidden Drain on Your Energy
Not all relationships are built on genuine connection or mutual benefit. While we all seek companionship, support, and trust from others, there are individuals who form relationships based on what they can extract, rather than what they can contribute. These people—often referred to as opportunists—may initially appear to be supportive, but their true motives become clear when the relationship no longer serves their interests.
Opportunists come in many forms—family members, friends, romantic partners, and colleagues. They often leave you feeling drained, used, and undervalued. The relationship feels imbalanced, and you begin to question your worth in their eyes. Recognizing opportunists early on can save you time, energy, and emotional strain. In this post, we’ll explore the different types of opportunists that show up in our lives, how to recognize their behavior, and how to protect yourself from being taken advantage of.
What Are Opportunists?
Opportunists are individuals who engage in relationships based on what they can gain from the connection, rather than on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, or support. They approach relationships with a transactional mindset—they are there when they need something from you, but disappear or become distant when the situation is reversed. These individuals often disguise their self-serving nature with charm, flattery, or false loyalty, making it difficult to see their true intentions until it’s too late.
While they may initially present themselves as allies or friends, opportunists are primarily interested in using others for personal gain. Once they’ve extracted what they need—whether it’s your time, resources, or emotional support—they often leave, only to return when they need something else.
Opportunists in Family
Family is meant to be a safe space, a place where you can trust people to have your best interests at heart. However, opportunists often hide within families as well. Some family members assume entitlement to your time, resources, or achievements without offering any real support in return. They may only reach out when they need a favor or assistance, and dismiss your struggles or needs when it’s your turn to ask for help.
Signs of an opportunistic family member: They expect you to drop everything when they need something, but rarely return the favor when you need support. They may try to take credit for your achievements or act as if they’ve always been there for you, despite contributing little or nothing to your success.
Emotional manipulation: Some opportunistic family members manipulate your sense of obligation by using guilt to get what they want. They might play on your emotions, reminding you of past favors or claiming that "family should always help each other" without giving anything back.
Opportunists in Friendships
Friendships should be built on mutual respect, trust, and support. But opportunistic friends often exploit these qualities for personal gain. These friends are present when times are good, but vanish when challenges arise. They may use you for your connections, take advantage of your generosity, or rely on your emotional support without offering anything in return.
Signs of an opportunistic friend: They often turn up when things are going well in your life, seeking to be part of the excitement or benefit from your social circle. But when you’re facing difficulties, they’re nowhere to be found. They may use your time, resources, or emotions without contributing to the friendship in any meaningful way.
The transactional nature of the relationship: In these friendships, you may find yourself giving much more than you receive. They’ll take without hesitation but hesitate or refuse when you ask for support, even in the smallest ways.
Opportunists in Relationships
In romantic relationships, opportunists may be drawn to you for what you can provide—whether it’s financial stability, emotional support, or social status—rather than who you truly are. These partners often drain you emotionally, financially, or mentally, and once they no longer gain from the relationship, they may quickly move on to someone else who can fulfill their needs.
Signs of an opportunistic partner: They may become distant or unresponsive when you're no longer able to meet their needs. Their focus on material or emotional gain becomes evident when their affection wanes once the 'perks' of the relationship no longer exist. They may manipulate you into providing for them, only to distance themselves when they feel they’ve received enough.
Emotional depletion: Being with an opportunist can leave you feeling exhausted, unappreciated, and emotionally drained. You may feel like you're doing all the giving, while your partner remains distant, detached, or uninterested in offering the same in return.
Opportunists in the Workplace
Opportunists are not confined to personal relationships; they can also emerge in the workplace. These individuals often thrive on taking credit for your hard work, aligning themselves with you when it serves their interests, and distancing themselves when it does not. They may leverage their connection to you for promotions, favors, or professional advancement, but are quick to abandon you once they’ve reached their goal.
Signs of an opportunistic colleague: They may frequently take credit for your ideas, projects, or accomplishments. They are eager to align themselves with your success but disappear when you’re struggling or need assistance. They will also be the first to leave you to handle their responsibilities once they’ve gained what they want.
Professional manipulation: Opportunists in the workplace often manipulate office dynamics to climb the ladder. They know how to play the system, using people to get ahead, without ever really contributing to the team's success.
Recognizing and Protecting Yourself from Opportunists
It’s important to recognize the signs of an opportunist before they have a chance to manipulate or exploit your time, resources, or emotions. Establishing clear boundaries is essential in protecting yourself from these draining relationships. Here are some tips for dealing with opportunists:
Trust your instincts: If someone’s behavior feels transactional rather than supportive, it’s worth pausing to assess the situation.
Set firm boundaries: Don’t feel obligated to give more than you’re comfortable with, especially when you notice a one-sided dynamic.
Be cautious with your time and resources: If someone repeatedly takes from you without offering anything in return, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
Learn to say no: Opportunists often rely on your willingness to please. Practice saying no without feeling guilty.
Recognizing opportunists early on allows you to protect your peace and maintain healthier, more balanced relationships. The key is to engage with those who offer genuine connection and mutual support, not those who only show up when they need something. In the next part, we will discuss projectors—those who project their insecurities onto others.
